Tuesday, July 23, 2013

One of a kind....

SHARING IS CARING





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    Monday, July 22, 2013

    "You're Never Too Old (or Young) To Go To The Zoo"


    When my sons were young I discovered I could buy a Family Annual Pass to the Oakland Zoo (now it's called a Family Membership).  Back then it was $80, it is now $120, but I still it's well worth it!  It's good for 2 adults and up to 4 children and it allows you to go to the zoo anytime you want for as long or as little time as you want.  This was the part I loved.  When they were little spending a day at the zoo was exhausting (not to mention expensive) for everyone.  I loved being able to just "go see the lions" or the gorillas....  We heard a lion roar once...it shook the ground...we all still remember that.

    Membership Benefits
    • FREE admission 362 days of the year at The Oakland Zoo.
    • FREE parking at The Oakland Zoo.
    • DISCOUNTS at the Gift Shop, for Zoo Camp, Birthday Parties, and special events.
    • DISCOUNTED or FREE admission to over 125 reciprocal zoos and aquariums nationwide.

    SHARING IS CARING

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    Wednesday, July 17, 2013

    Children with controlling 'helicopter parents' are more likely to be depressed | Mail Online

    Children with controlling 'helicopter parents' are more likely to be depressed | Mail Online: "Helicopter parenting behaviours were linked to higher levels of depression, decreased satisfaction with life and lower levels of perceived autonomy, competence, and ability to get along with people."

    SHARING IS CARING





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    Tuesday, May 21, 2013

    “It’s considered neglect...”

     A mom called me yesterday to say she found out her 16 year old son was smoking pot in their house and when confronted, got mad and was threatening to run away.  She wanted to know what to do.  Personally, if it had been my son, I would have said, “fine, leave”.  However, I told her I wanted to check with someone and would call her back.  Since I get referrals from probation officers, I called one of them and asked his opinion.  He said that if a kid wants to leave, a parent cannot generally, keep him from leaving.  However, if that kid runs away, the parent is now responsible for reporting the missing kid, otherwise, it’s considered neglect.


    This brings up soooo…. many thoughts.  This is the same mother who has not reported violence that should have been reported.  To me this is kid who has not matured past the “ME…ME…ME” stage.  
    That really is a stage, but the normal age range is 0-4 years old.  

    Our job as parents is “to grow our kids / to mature our kids”.  I know…that doesn’t make sense, but what I’m trying to say is that it is our job to help them progress through these stages (see below).  When a baby is hungry and cries, he screams until you come running with the bottle or whatever he wants.  The screaming is intolerable and we do whatever it takes to get them to stop.  A child in this stage in incapable of thinking about  anyone else's needs but his own.  He doesn't care if you are tired, if you are hungry, if you are sick, if his brother is humgry, etc.  He doesn't stop until he gets what he wants...and that's OK.....at this stage....

    The mother of this kid told me that when the son is having a fit, (except in this case it’s camouflaged as extreme anger), the father tells her to give him what he wants “can’t you see how upset he is?”  

    Last week, the cover of Time Magazine caught my eye.  I have not read the article, but I'm not sure how a child who is not capable of thinking of others' needs is going to "save us all".  


    In my classes, we learn about the different stages and how to move through each stage.

    SHARING IS CARING




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    Saturday, May 18, 2013

    Let's watch it in slow motion....


    This is a film called Wings of Life by Louie Schwartzberg.  If you are amazed by nature, this is a must...it is also a must to watch with your kids.  I heard Louie say in a talk that when he was young, he didn't have much money, but he had time and a sense of wonder.  So he started taking pictures - time lapsed photography.  He said it would take him a month to shoot a four minute roll of film..."cuz that's all I could afford".  ENJOY....

    http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/video/2bJCk3
    And while you are at it, watch his talk on gratitude. It shows time-lapsed flowers....
    http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2012/01/12/the-hidden-beauty-of-pollination/

    SHARING IS CARING

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    Happy Mother's Day

    Thinking about Mother's Day...It's not easy...
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    “I don’t believe in rewards”


    What?!  You don’t believe in rewards? 
    Nope, I not only do not believe in rewards, I consider it bribing, which is why I don’t believe in rewards.  First of all, rewards have very short term effects, extremely short-term.  I’m not looking for short-term results, I want long-term.  Second, rewards just get more and more expensive.  Thirdly, before we know it, kids are now blackmailing us!  Fourth, and most importantly….giving rewards is not preparing them for real-life and my goal is to prepare them for real-life.
    The other day, I met with this mom and her son….same old problem…in fact, it seems to be everyone’s problem….”my son is not going to school”….”my daughter does not want to go to school”...etc., etc.”  (I’ll have to write about the reasons they’ve given later….)  Anyway, we were negotiating on what a good consequence might be and he kept saying….”yeah, but what am I gonna get?”  I kept trying to bring him back to negotiating a consequence, but he kept trying to find out what he was going to get.
    Finally I said, “There is no reward.  If I go in the carpool lane when I am not supposed to, I get a ticket.  Since I don’t want a $400 ticket, I stay out of the carpool lane when I am alone, but I don’t get a reward for staying where I am supposed to stay!”  
     I do, however, make a distinction between rewards and bonuses and I do believe in bonuses! 




    SHARING IS CARING



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