Movies To Watch: Underwater Dreams and Spare Parts

One of our jobs as parents is to believe in our kids.  In my classes, I cover the typical things like Parenting Styles, Communication, Conflict Resolution, etc.  But what I have found is that parents need to reflect on what they believe about their kids.  If they have gotten in trouble with the law, or if their grades are not great, you may be questioning your kids' capabilities and even their intelligence.  Do not fall in that trap.  I repeat do not fall in the trap.  You know how amazing your kids are.  Do not judge them according to their current circumstance.  These two movies which are about the same story, except that one is the documentary and the other is the movie, are about inspiring kids to believe in themselves.  Just remember, they can't do that if you don't believe in them.


Underwater Dreams

It's the stuff of movies - four undocumented Mexican-American high school students enter a NASA-sponsored robotics contest and beat MIT and other prestigious universities. Yet the unlikely victory did not lead to a successful or lucrative future in the tech and science world for these students, mainly because they were constrained by their immigration status. Their fascinating story is the subject of a new documentary, “Underwater Dreams,” airing Sunday on MSNBC and Telemundo, as well as an upcoming Hollywood film.  Source:  article in Wire Magazine

Spare Parts
Four Hispanic high school students form a robotics club. With no experience, 800 bucks, used car parts and a dream, this rag tag team goes up against the country's reigning robotics champion, MIT.



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we feel loved when we feel respected

Fill your teenager's LoveCup with respect...we feel loved when we feel respected.  Here is a conversation from a family coaching session.  The teen is a 17 year old male.  The parents are monolingual Spanish speaking.

 

Teen: I think they should let me wear what I want to wear.

Mom:  I don't like him wearing red.

Teen:  This isn't gang related. 

Me:  In your opinion, what would be considered gang-related?

Teen:  like a red rosary...or like red tennis shoes...

Me:  Hmmm...well, yes, parents need to give kids more autonomy in what they wear, but this is different.  So, let me just talk to you as if you were my son.  If you were my son and you wanted to wear red (and we lived in the zipcode where you live), I would say:  Son, I don't want you wearing red because I'm afraid you'll be confused with gang members and end up getting shot.

Teen:  But this isn't gang stuff.

Mom:  In juvenile hall, they put him with the gang group.

Me:  Well, I don't know anything about gangs, but since we're talking about life and death, I can't just take your word for it.  We need to ask someone.  Would you be ok with you and your mom asking someone like the principal or the police officers at your school if what you are wearing is gang stuff?  And....would you be ok with not wearing it if they say it is?

Teen:  yeah...that'd be fine...and ok....yeah.

Me:  Ok, so tomorrow, you, mom, need to go to school and find the principal or the police officers with your son and ask them if what you are wearing is considered gang-related or not?

Teen:  Ok.

One week later.....

Me:  So, how did it go?  Was it gang related or not?  (he wasn't wearing red)

Teen:  We didn't go.

Me:  Why not?

Teen:  Just cuz.....

Me: Hmmm....so you don't want to go ask? 

Teen: No...

Me:  Does that mean you are ok with not wearing red?  Are you sure?

Teen:  Yeah. 

Me: OK, so you are choosing to not wear what your mom considers dangerous.

Teen:  Yep.

 

I'm not even sure why I think this is showing respect, but I think it is. 


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we were not mother and daughter...we were enemies"

Mother of a 15 year old girl (before attending my parenting class):
"Before, we fought every day"
"I wanted to just belt her"
"we were not mother and daughter...we were enemies"
"they could hear us from outside"

Father:
"I would come in the front door and kept right on going out the back door.....I couldn't handle them"

After attending my parenting class:
"everything has been different"
"the atmosphere is light now....it's pleasing to enter our house now"
"I never again woke her up for school...she started getting up on her own and is stilling getting up on her own"
"now we help each other"
"we go out to eat"
"and another thing...she learned to say "no"...her friends no longer come in and help themselves to her clothes...before they would go into her closet and take things she hadn't even worn before without asking.....that is a thing of the past"


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