What?! You don’t believe in rewards?
Nope, I not only do not believe in rewards, I
consider it bribing, which is why I don’t believe in rewards. First of all, rewards have very short term
effects, extremely short-term. I’m not
looking for short-term results, I want long-term. Second, rewards just get more and more
expensive. Thirdly, before we know it,
kids are now blackmailing us! Fourth, and
most importantly….giving rewards is not preparing them for real-life and my
goal is to prepare them for real-life.
The other
day, I met with this mom and her son….same old problem…in fact, it seems to be
everyone’s problem….”my son is not going to school”….”my daughter does not want
to go to school”...etc., etc.” (I’ll have
to write about the reasons they’ve given later….) Anyway, we were negotiating on what a good
consequence might be and he kept saying….”yeah, but what am I gonna get?” I kept trying to bring him back to
negotiating a consequence, but he kept trying to find out what he was going to
get.
Finally I
said, “There is no reward. If I go in
the carpool lane when I am not supposed to, I get a ticket. Since I don’t want a $400 ticket, I stay out
of the carpool lane when I am alone, but I don’t get a reward for staying where
I am supposed to stay!”
SHARING IS CARING
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