Saturday, May 18, 2013

“I don’t believe in rewards”


What?!  You don’t believe in rewards? 
Nope, I not only do not believe in rewards, I consider it bribing, which is why I don’t believe in rewards.  First of all, rewards have very short term effects, extremely short-term.  I’m not looking for short-term results, I want long-term.  Second, rewards just get more and more expensive.  Thirdly, before we know it, kids are now blackmailing us!  Fourth, and most importantly….giving rewards is not preparing them for real-life and my goal is to prepare them for real-life.
The other day, I met with this mom and her son….same old problem…in fact, it seems to be everyone’s problem….”my son is not going to school”….”my daughter does not want to go to school”...etc., etc.”  (I’ll have to write about the reasons they’ve given later….)  Anyway, we were negotiating on what a good consequence might be and he kept saying….”yeah, but what am I gonna get?”  I kept trying to bring him back to negotiating a consequence, but he kept trying to find out what he was going to get.
Finally I said, “There is no reward.  If I go in the carpool lane when I am not supposed to, I get a ticket.  Since I don’t want a $400 ticket, I stay out of the carpool lane when I am alone, but I don’t get a reward for staying where I am supposed to stay!”  
 I do, however, make a distinction between rewards and bonuses and I do believe in bonuses! 




SHARING IS CARING



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