'see...no one can change....' This is what Luis, a 16 old boy said during my meeting with him and his parents.
We were trying to come up with a consequence to help him go to school, i.e., not cut class.
But those words are what struck me. He learned this from someone / somewhere. My question to you is: Do you believe you can change?
If we believe we can't change, our kids will believe they can't change. A lot of us believe we can't do anything about what happens to us in life so the coping strategy we adopt is to accept whatever life throws at you. You may as well be a dart board and just sit there and take it.
The worse part about our bad habits is that we are always teaching our kids...whether we mean to our not. And I don't know about too, but I don't want my kids to feel helpless....like a dartboard.
This kid literally felt he could not change. He had been led to believe he could NOT change.
We struggled a lot to find a consequence that would motivate him to get up! And get to school and go to class!
I'm happy to report he succeeded!! He got up this whole week and went to his classes... :)
I should also share that his father also agreed to a consequence. The goal for him was to stop waking his son up.
Oh....and by the way..every time you wake up your child, this is the message you are sending: You are not capable of getting up on time. You can't change. You'll forget. You are incompetent. I don't trust you (to get up).
Oh my goodness.......so by waking them up I am teaching them they can't change....
Yes...and a lot of other negative things.
So,.yes, it is possible too change. Can you imagine playing a video game with your son or daughter and having fun?!!!
We were trying to come up with a consequence to help him go to school, i.e., not cut class.
But those words are what struck me. He learned this from someone / somewhere. My question to you is: Do you believe you can change?
If we believe we can't change, our kids will believe they can't change. A lot of us believe we can't do anything about what happens to us in life so the coping strategy we adopt is to accept whatever life throws at you. You may as well be a dart board and just sit there and take it.
The worse part about our bad habits is that we are always teaching our kids...whether we mean to our not. And I don't know about too, but I don't want my kids to feel helpless....like a dartboard.
This kid literally felt he could not change. He had been led to believe he could NOT change.
We struggled a lot to find a consequence that would motivate him to get up! And get to school and go to class!
I'm happy to report he succeeded!! He got up this whole week and went to his classes... :)
I should also share that his father also agreed to a consequence. The goal for him was to stop waking his son up.
Oh....and by the way..every time you wake up your child, this is the message you are sending: You are not capable of getting up on time. You can't change. You'll forget. You are incompetent. I don't trust you (to get up).
Oh my goodness.......so by waking them up I am teaching them they can't change....
Yes...and a lot of other negative things.
So,.yes, it is possible too change. Can you imagine playing a video game with your son or daughter and having fun?!!!
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