Look into their eyes....

One very simple way to fill your child’s love cup……look at them when you talk to them.
I remember when my boys were little, I would always want to be sure they were listening when I told them something. And to do that, I would lightly touch their chin and turn their face toward mine and then say what I wanted to say. If they were too far away from me, I would say “look at me”.
Later as they grew older and they wanted to make sure I was listening, they would do the same thing to me. They would turn my face toward them as they said “mom…”.
Think about what you do with babies – it’s all about eye contact. It’s a major part of how we communicate our love to them. As your children grow older, however, we stop doing that.
When was the last time you looked at your child when they were trying to tell you something. Nobody likes to talk to someone’s back and yet, if you are in the kitchen doing the dishes, that is exactly what you are asking your child to do, same thing when we’re driving. So, be aware of what you are doing when they are talking and remind yourself to look into their eyes. Look at them when they are talking. This one very simple act will fill their love cup.

I Like / I Don't Like

Fill your child’s love cup by finding out what they want. Just taking them to Toys R us and going through the store to find out what kinds of things appeal to them will provide you with insight into them.
I know, I know, it’s just after Christmas and I’m talking about finding out what they want. This does not necessarily mean, however, getting them more toys. I’m just talking about taking the time to find out what they like. When you love someone, you want to find out what they like. You want to know what their favorite food is, what kind of music they like, what kind of movies they like, etc. Have you taken the time recently to find out what your child likes?
With children, we don’t always take the time to find out what they like. I, for one, have three boys and have never been interested in boy toys. If you want to bore me, start telling me what this transformer can do and not do and how this one is from this galaxy and that one is from that galaxy, etc. It is very difficult for me to engage in those types of conversation. One day it occurred to me that I did not have a clue what toys they liked at that point in their life so I decided I would take them to Toys R Us and have them show me what they liked. The first time I did this I was blown away by how happy they were to be looking at everything without being in a rush and how excited they were to be explaining all these things to me.
You can also do this with catalogs. We like to play “I like, I don’t like”. You can do this with any catalog. Just go through and each person say “I like” or “don’t like” for each item in the catalog. It’s fun to decide quickly and it’s fun when you are surprised that someone likes this or that. No need to convince someone about why you like it, you’re not buying it, you’re just saying if you like it or not and…. you’re not even saying you want it, just if you like it or not. We’ve done this with homes catalogs, toy catalogs, furniture catalogs, gardening catalogs, car catalogs, you name it. It also helps your child learn that we don’t all have to like the same thing, we’re different! And that’s OK.
Finding out what they like is another way of “seeking to understand” . And do you know that this is the key to being able to influence our children, or actually anyone. We all want to be understood. If we do not feel understood we are not open to hearing what the other person is saying. On the other hand, if we feel like the other person truly understands, meaning like they tried to put themselves in our shoes, we will be open to hearing what they have to say. Parents always ask how to get their kids to listen to them. Well, the answer as you can see, is to start listening to your kids.